Checking Goals


Is it stated in the positive?

Is it stated in the positive?

This doesn't refer to positive thinking.
Wanting to be not unhappy is different from wanting to be happy. To think of a negatively phrased goal means we have to think of unhappiness which can slow down our progress, as it's too easy to get into negative non-productive states of mind when we concentrate on negativity
Yet if we go for happiness then 'not unhappy' is achieved too, without dwelling on the negative. Happiness is much more empowering than not-unhappiness. As they say, our unconscious mind cannot think using 'not'.

A good example of this is children who function at that level until they grow out of it.
I was at a friend's recently and she was standing just outside the patio door and said to her 6 year old daughter, who was at the kitchen table finishing her meal, 'Don't come out here it's too cold'.
I then saw the daughter push her plate away in a dutiful manner, get off the seat, and go outside to her mother who said, "What are you doing here? Didn't you listen to me?'
'You told me to come out!' the daughter answered.
The trouble was she did listen but she listened as a 6-year-old, not processing the negative statement but responding to 'come out here'.
That's how our unconscious minds process negatives, by thinking of the things they negate!

So state what you want using that positive language.

Copyright©Jon Lonergan 2003-2005

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